February 2012
richwhitelesbian:
i hope rick santorum goes to the corner store to get a can of delicious arizona iced tea and when he takes out his wallet he grabs it wrong and it opens at a weird angle and all his change and his bank card and drivers license fall out and everyone behind him in line is looking at him like “wow what an idiot” while he frantically tries to pick up all his pennies
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Watching television with my parents
is like watching something in a language you fully understand while the subtitles are read to you in another one. It’s like they need to ensure that everyone knows what’s going on. It’s adorbz <3
At the Oscars
Camera zooms in on George Clooney's face
Ammi: Who is that? They show him a lot.
Abbu: Clooney. He came in Syriana, remember!
Ammi: But what about him is so spectacular?
Later when someone from The Help won and got a standing ovation
Abbu: They wouldn't all be standing if she weren't black.
I love my mother for being hilariously down-to-earth, and my father for being hilariously up-to-date AND commenting on white privilege!
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Google
probably thinks I’m a perv because I searched something that brought up Craigslist gay sex as it’s first result. I’m doing research for a POEM, Google. In case you’re stalking me on Tumblr too.
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inbetweenlove:
the most difficult thing is
the way men say your name,
like it is empty of all
the reasons your mother
named you.
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Amusing Abbu: Elderly Abuse
Background Info: My father and I randomly lock hands and play Mercy.
Abbu: Quick! Someone get a picture. Post it on the Internet, and everyone will see how she's treating her father ahahahaha
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IDEA FOR PERFORMANCE ART
wombatfractal:
asimplekoipond:
reading youtube comments from a megaphone in a public square until the police stop you
sounds dangerous
I need to see this done. Or do it.
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“A British man came to a Sheikh and asked: Why is not permissible in Islam for...”
– (via fatimashaikh)
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“How rare it is to find a soul quiet enough to hear God speak.”
– François Fénelon (via warriorsrise)
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School
For a while now, I’ve just really and truly wanted to quit school. Only because I feel like my time could be better spent doing something else. I still want to become a doctor, but I know that right now, I’m learning some of the most useless stuff ever to get closer to that goal. Maybe this is immature thinking, and sure I understand that perhaps I’m forced to take Cal 3 for the...
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“He smiled understandingly-much more than understandingly. It was one of those...”
– F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby (via girlinlondon)
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“Love is a form of prejudice. You love what you need, you love what makes you...”
– Charles Bukowski (via serialstranger)
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“If you have a beard, but it’s not maintained, don’t holler.”
– My sister
thrustingcupcakes:
Now my heart is a pressed flower and a tattered bible it is the one verse you can trust so I’m putting all of my words in the collection plate I am setting the table with bread and grace my knees are bent like the corner of a page I am saving your place
-Maybe I Need You, Andrea Gibson
“He’s quite as nervously broken down as I am, but it manifests itself in...”
– F. Scott Fitzgerald on Ernest Hemingway (via girlinlondon)